


of lasting

by moonrail



Series: stellifer [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8512744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonrail/pseuds/moonrail
Summary: And he will wait to fade in silence.





	

Sometimes, Itachi wonders how he is able to hold out this long.

His mental stability is not the best, he can never deny that. His body feels tangled mostly (because the inside of his skull is another thing entirely) inside his chest, ribs like a noose and lungs a web that catches air and never lets go. Blood crusted on the edges of his fingernails are most often his and no one else, with the lines on his palms as rivers of iron as it flows and drips down to the thin, white sheets or blades of grass like painting spots of unfurling flowers on a cheap canvas.

It aches like knives and barbed wire crawling from his toes to his diaphragm to the crown of his head. And with his heart so frayed, barely stitched together with loyalty, compassion and memories of few that lived, many that died. A cacophony of accusations linger through thoughts, hallucinations, sleep until it searches to scream in spaces elsewhere than his brain that he will feel it dribble out of his ears.

He wants to close his eyes. He wants to rest.

To kill a man, one could use an innumerable number of methods. From rusted spoons to bare hands to oil and fire. Taking a life is (very, very) easy but taking a life from someone who is far too willing?

The images are already there, him kneeling and praying and wondering, steel under the tips of his fingers: _Father, Mother, will I see you on the other side?_

He breathes; a hitched, lonely sigh.

But then he moves his line of sight away from the kunai that glints under the light. He directs his feet elsewhere than a tranquil, hidden location that makes him far too alone with no noise outside his head.

Never is it easy, waiting. Though when he thinks of fire-forged hatred crackling then sliding through bone, piercing what anchors him to a world he loves far too much to ever love him back, the weight becomes a looser thing. He is able to think: _soon_.

(Cursed eyes that bleed and blur pulls him down towards every detail of a toothy grin that seems to have been etched decades ago. His full moon cheeks, apple-tinged, raven-feathered hair and stars that laugh themselves alight in his eyes. A voice that bleeds sunlight itself, shimmering with sweetness of encompassing affection—)

Itachi will never forget; he will let himself die by Sasuke’s hand.

Roles are defined by their names: the villain that died and the hero that lived; Itachi and Sasuke.

Always Sasuke.

**Author's Note:**

> word vomit bc itachi feels are too strong.


End file.
